A very special project
I don’t care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul— from the song Creep by Radiohead
I don’t care if it hurts.
The more it hurts, the more it feels like I’m making progress. I am willing to suffer deeply in order to end my suffering. Also, I don’t know who I am without my suffering.
I wanna have control.
Obviously. What’s the point without control? What is there for me to work on, fix, achieve? I am my very special project. And if I really want to consider no control, then explain to me how I can achieve that.
I want a perfect body.
That would’ve been nice, but I know I’m not the body. Let’s be real though, taking care of it is still essential. Imperfection is fine. And even that needs constant work.
I want a perfect soul.
Oh, I want this so much, I’ll do whatever it takes! I will commit, fast in the desert, meditate under the tree, achieve my own absence. But I won’t do that! — which is a different song for a different post. ;-)
… … …
What if there is no one?
Not even anyone to achieve the extra special status of seeing they are no one?
What if there’s only freedom?

